Queen of Disaster
by sassafrassing
Summary: As she contemplates dismembering the world and dancing in the wreckage, she hopes that maybe he'll join her.
1. At The Bottom

**Queen of Disaster**

* * *

It was two days before her seventeenth birthday.

A young woman found herself sitting alone consuming shot after shot of sake as she stared intently at the bar counter before her. Her brows were furrowed and eyes set in deep concentration. A recently finished, heavily used copy of a medical textbookwas tossed to the side of her. The smell of sex, cigarettes, and booze saturated the air around her, permeating into her attire. The heavy atmosphere of debauchery was oddly comforting. Motioning for another refill, Sakura broke out of her reverie and let out a small huff of frustration.

The notepad in front of her was filled with layers of coded shorthand. Slender fingers fidgeted with a black pen restlesssly. A figure appeared before her and set down a fresh bottle of sake with a thud. Looking up questioningly, the bartender returned it with a stern look. Grinning slightly, she silently mouthed her thanks. He knew her so well. There was a loud shatter and howls of laughter erupted from the back. A particularly rambunctious group of shinobi were jeering at the drunken mess one of their companions made. Rolling her eyes, she got back to drinking.

Sakura looked out of place in the small pub located in the seedy section of downtown Konoha. Long, pink tresses were messily secured on top of her head and she wore a cream colored oversized sweater that she positively drowned in. Her ninja hitate was absent from her person although her byakugou seal remained prominent on her forehead. Exuding homely comfort and overwhelming frustration, any curious potential suitors were deterred. It helped that her violent reputation preceeded her. Only one time she was bothered and she ended up dedicating a week's paycheck to repairing a demolished wall.

She stumbled into this establishment six months ago. One night she wandered downtown to avoid running into her insincerely sympathetic peers. Opening the wooden door, she peered inside and saw an old man bussling about catering to rapid fire orders of alcohol. There was a good flow of people that Sakura did not recognize and the place seemed to lack any unsavory characters. Slowly settling at the far corner of the bar, she hesitated a bit before capturing the attention of the old man.

* * *

"Um hello," she said with a tentative smile.

Peering at her, "Whuddaya want girl?"

"What would you recommend?"

"You hold your liquor?"

Slightly grinning, "Too well."

With a rough chuckle, "Good."

He limped to the opposite end of the bar and she could hear a loud curse of anger when he bent down. Retrieving an unassuming white bottle, he made his way back to her with a small glass. Setting the glass down, he fluidly poured a shot and pushed it toward her.

"Have a taste of _that_."

Interested in the clear liquid, Sakura expertly downed the shot. It burned smoothly down her throat. Her eyes widened in surprise at the pleasant aftertaste.

"Is that peach sake?"

Giving her a crooked grin, "Yup. Brew tha stuff myself. Good right?"

"Exceptionally," she said while motioning for another.

"You seem the type to appreciate good sake. Don't tell ya batshit Hokage about it," he muttered gruffly.

"Tsunade-sama? Why?"

"She'd enslave me as her personal brewer, that's why."

Raising a brow, "Aren't you a little too confident?"

"Brat, you're on your fifth shot already."

Sakura laughed.

"OI OLD MAN, QUIT TALKIN' UP THE BABE AND GET ME ANOTHER ROUND!"

Swiveling around and throwing a kitchen knife with alarming speed , "HAH? Matsumoto shut your goddamn mouth you stupid little shit."

Barely dodging due to his inebrieted state, the young shinobi threw his hands up in mock defeat, "Aww don't be like that. We're just jealous you always chat up the cute girls."

"Maybe they'd be returning customers if you weren't around chasing pussy."

Intervening, "Oh I'm not worried about him at all. But thanks for your concern…?"

"Kenpachi," he answered while offering his weathered hand.

"Sakura," she said while taking it, noting the various scars and calluses on his hand.

"Strong grip ya got there."

"I'm stronger than I look," she said with a knowing smile.

"Hold on a sec," he said while motioning for her to continue drinking.

Sakura happily obliged.

Kenpachi made his was toward the unruly regular at the opposite end of the bar. Sakura took the time to assess her new friend. He was on the smaller side, however he exuded an almost feral aura. There was no mistaking the fact that he was a retired shinobi. It was odd seeing someone in her profession so old and relatively healthy. His face was profusely angular and battle worn and his shock of white hair ran wild. From the way he limped, she concluded that he had an old thigh wound that was never properly treated. Back in his prime competent med nin were quite scarce.

"So," he said as he returned to where she was seated, "Whatcha doing here in my humble establishment?"

She slammed her head down onto the bar with a dejected groan. Kenpachi heard a low murmmur in response.

"Whud was that?"

Lifting her glass up begging for another shot, "Newly single."

Giving a low whistle as he complied, "Rough shit."

"You're telling me," she snapped as her head shot up with a heated glare.

Busying himself with quartering limes, Kenpachi gave the miserable woman a sympathetic look, "So what happened? Dumbass die?"

"_I wish,"_ Sakura hissed as she slammed her fist down abruptly. As she removed her hand, he noticed his bar counter had splintered under the weight of her fist. Choosing not to comment on it, he proceeded with his task. The girl had decided to forgo the glass and drink straight from the bottle.

Downing her approximately fifteenth shot that evening, "Asshole _cheated_ on me. Of course _I'm _the fool for ever going out with him right? I've been in love with him for _ages_ and he turns around and fucks a girl on _my _kitchen floor and then slams the door _in my face?"_

A loud clatter startled her from her drunken rant.

"What da shit?"

"Yeah! That's what I said!" Sakura agreed enthusiastically as she took another swig from the bottle.

Pointing a paring knife animatedly at her, "There be two things I don't tolerate -dumbfuck little boys who disrepect women and bad tempura."

"Here, here!"

Sakura was clearly intoxicated at this point.

However, this did not indicate her ability to sense her surroundings was dulled. It simply meant she could give less than zero fucks about anything at this point of inebriation. Kenpachi and Sakura further exchanged impassionate speeches about how men were dogs. She could of sworn he was merely instigating her for his own amusement, however she didn't mind. It felt wonderful to candidly express what she had to endure. There was no one she could truly confide in her life at that point.

She sensed an inebrieted body stumble its' way to where she was sitting. Paying no mind to the person, "Neh, Kenpachi, know any good men to date?"

"Sorry peach, anyone I know 'round your age are a bunch of pussy-footing dipshits."

Suddenly Sakura was assaulted by the obnoxious shinobi from before. Firmly grabbing her left breast and nuzzling the right side of her face, "Hey I'm _all_ man… How 'bout you and me get outta here? I'm much better company than the ol' man."

Before Kenpachi could come to his customers rescue, there was an indistinguishable flurry of movement and crazed war cry. Matsumoto was promptly thrown across the bar and through the wall separating its' inhabitants from outside.

"Well I'll be damned, peach is Tsunade's brat."

"_SHANNARO YOU DRUNK BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU_!" Sakura exclaimed as she stomped toward the unconcious shinobi.

"_Holy shit it's the Godaime's apprentice!"_

"_What the fuck is she doing here?"_

"_WE'RE GONNA DIE."_

"_ABORT ABORT. LEAVE MATSUMOTO… SAVE OURSELVES!"_

A mob of drunk patrons and ninjas toppled over one another as they hurried through the gigantic hole in the wall to escape the wrath of the infuriated woman. Absolutely seething and slightly swaying due to her intoxication, Sakura was just about to punch the unconcious man in front of her when she heard a high-pitched whistle.

Capturing her attention, "Yo peach, you're my new favorite customer and all, but you still got to pay for that shit!"

Turning around to face Kenpachi with a sheepish grin, "Heh, sorry!"

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

Smiling demurely at the memory, Sakura sank into her stool. Six months seemed so long ago. The following day after her first encounter with Kenpachi, she stormed into headquarters hungover and irate. In the lobby, she saw her two teammates exchanging insults. Naruto was bright and joyful as ever. Sasuke, _the fuckface_, was brooding and ridiculously attractive as ever. Honestly, the injustice. Before Naruto even had a chance to cheerfully greet her as he usually did, she unleashed her frustrations and anger.

Rumors circulated about the incident. Apparently half the building was condemned and unuseable. Fourteen people were injured in the crossfire and both Naruto and Sasuke were briefly put out of commission. At first, Naruto did his best to appease his female best friend and tried to defend Sasuke from the majority of her attacks. However when Sakura disclosed the reason why she wanted to murder the last Uchiha, Naruto snapped. Sasuke and Naruto became engaged in a lethal fist fight until Sakura ended it with a sucker punch to Sasuke's face.

She was instantly subdued by an ANBU squad who was under the impression they were responding to an attack on the village. Tsunade was livid and suspended her from active duty for six months. Sakura refused to associate with anyone during that time and resorted burying herself in research. In her defense, Naruto was the only one she knew who _did not_ know about Sasuke's philandering ways. However, the always forgiving blonde was too easy to forgive –and she was not ready to play nice anytime soon.

"Yo watcha working on peach?"

She looked up to see Kenpachi staring down at her with an interested look on his face.

"Oh this," motioning to her notepad, "It's just chemical compounds for a new poison I'm working on."

Giving her a weary look, "Who pissed you off?"

"_Everyone._"

"Well, get that stupid suspension lifted. Go kill fuckers in the field instead of terrifying my customers."

Standing up determinedly, "You know what, you're right."

"I know I'm right, now get on with it. These idiots are still scared shitless of ya after what happened to Matsumoto."

Sakura pouted as she stood up and made her way toward the door, "Fine. One for the road then?"

Pretending to consider her request, a bottle was effortlessly tossed to her from across the room. Catching it flawlessly, she gave a dramatic bow, "Why thank you ojii-chan."

Sakura lazily doged the kitchen knife thrown in her direction, "HAH? I'll kill you ya saucy cunt. Get the fuck out of my bar!"

Her airy laughter was heard as she swiftly slammed the door shut behind her.

* * *

He was fucked, to put it mildly.

Tsunade would probably assign him to genin level missions for at least a year –or worse, another genin team. It wasn't his fault really. If there was anyone to blame, it was the intelligence acquired by the recon team Tsunade sent out before him. What was supposedly a covert infiltration and assassination mission ended up as a complete blood bath. His objective was fairly generic and undoubtedly simple: silence the political extremist Hitomi Toru. Konoha was not to be affiliated with the assassination and the consequences of him being seen would have been a political disaster.

For seven months Kakashi imbedded himself in Hitomi's large network to familiarize with his supporters abilities, manpower, and strategies. From what he concluded, the foundation and driving force of the radical movement relied entirely on his target. Silence him and the rest of the organization would fold. From what he was told, Hitomi was to host a meeting with a few of his entourage at an exclusive teahouse in a private room. Kakashi was presented with the perfect opportunity to execute his assignment –free from prying eyes and ears.

Naturally, everything went to shit when he realized he had stumbled upon not a meeting with his target and a few of his trusted associates, but a meeting with an additional 34 lieutenants of the organization. In retrospect, he was extremely grateful that he took the time to seal the room and that the organization was comprised of only mediocre shinoi. Yet imagine his surprise when he realized that two of the dismembered corpses in the room were undercover Cloud chunin?

Relations between Leaf and Cloud were pleasant after the war, however an indiscretion of such a magnitude was not to be ignored. Best case scenario was that Tsunade retired him, worst case he was extradited to Cloud and subsequently executed. He didn't want to dwell on any of the gory details of the affair as he would revisit them when he gave his report anyway. There had been a lot of body fluids, entrails, and blood curling screams to say in the least. Nothing out of the ordinary, but not as stealthy as he would have liked it.

He had definitely made a huge miscalculation.

Kakashi would have never simply relied on the information from reconassince. There was always room for the unexpected to occur. He should have gathered his own intel and performed a final sweep of the building. But he had not. Maybe he was getting rusty or maybe he just didn't give a shit anymore. Regardless, more pressing matters had arisen. He couldn't help but shake that ominous feeling that the consequences he would suffer would be tremendous.

That, however, would be a tremendous understatement.

Tsunade's office was surprisingly organized for it being so late in the evening. Either she had been discovered by Shizume after evading paperwork all day or she enslaved an unfortunate group of Chunin to do the work for her and tidy up. He sincerely hoped it was the latter. As he was relaying his account on how the mission went, he noticed her subconcious habit of circling her finger on the rim of an empty sake cup. This particular habit occurred whenever she was in dire need of sake and in a horrendous mood. The motion stopped just as he quietly added a perticular detail toward the end of his report.

"Kakashi… I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that last detail. Would you mind repeating what you just told me?"

She used her disgustingly sweet tone that always preceeded her explosive anger. He discreetly slid into a position more compatible with flight as he observed the extremely powerful, buxom blonde in front of him. Knowing full well she heard him, however not one to deny a request from the Hokage herself, he proceeded to repeat that yes, he did dismember two undercover Cloud shinobi.

"You did WHAT," Tsunade exploded in front of him.

"Would you like me to repeat for a third time Hokage-sama?"

"Hatake you're just one more word from being demoted back to the academy!"

Apparently someone had too much paperwork today and not enough sake.

"Yes Hokage-sama."

"How the hell did you not know they were undercover?"

"Well, I specifically noted that they were _undercover_—" he replied smartly.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Cloud ninja are shit. You should have known better!" Tsunade bellowed.

"Well, yes, their fighting capabilities do support that statement, however one was wearing a very convincing eyepatch—"

"You at least destroyed the corpses correct?"

"Of course Hokage-sama, it's common procedure."

"Considering how poorly you handled the situation I'm surprised you cared to remember," she snorted with contempt.

"Mah, I didn't actively seek out Cloud nin to kill…"

"I swear you're after my job if you're intentionally starting international incidents to make me look bad."

"No, I'd very much not like your job Hokage-sama. You're splendid at it, and I swear you look younger every day."

"Hatake…"

"By the way, may I suggest you look into our reconassince department? I feel they are lacking as of late."

"Hatake. Shut it. Now."

Needless to say, he fell silent.

Massaging her forehead out of exasperation, Tsunade wondered why she put up with the man before her. He was all ready pushing past his prime age wise and should be confined to a desk before he got himself decapitated. However despite what she thought of him sometimes, he really was brilliant. It would be a shame if she didn't exploit that brilliance before he got himself killed. After all, he still managed to execute every mission to perfection -completely disregarding this recent one. Plus it was nice having a living legend on her active roster, it certainly helped to pull in lucrative clientele.

Leaning back in her chair, Tsunade raised an inquiring brow, "Now, what do you propose I do with you? You seem to enjoy almost causing a political shitstorm and creating a ton of paperwork for me."

"Ah, I'd prefer if you didn't disembowl me," Kakashi requested, with all due respect.

"Unfortunately I just had my nails done. It would be a shame for that money to go to waste."

Both occupants in the room understood she got manicures for free.

"But oh the possibilities. I'm sure you're the only person in the world who hates paperwork more than I do," she began menancingly.

Contrary to popular belief, Kakashi did turn in all of his mission reports well before they were due. They were surprisingly in depth, articulate, and neatly written if he did say so himself. However, because everyone was under the impression he was incredibly lazy, apathetic, and not one to conform to authority, those who read his reports always attributed it to being written by a poor, unsuspecting victim of rank. Therefore, all credit went to an anonymous underling. To be perfectly clear, Kakashi was incredibly lazy, apathetic, and not one to conform to authority –however even he was allowed to have certain anal retentive quirks.

"I suspect you want me to finish all of your paperwork from the last month," he offered.

"Tempting, but knowing you, you'll exploit some poor group of Chunin -which should be something only I'm allowed to do."

There again was that misconception.

"Now, what to do with you…"

The door to Tsunade's quarters suddenly bursted open as a young woman came rushing in with an empty bottle of sake in tow.

"Shishou, I think you should really reconsider my suspen—"

"Damn it Sakura, I thought I banned you from headquarters until further notice!"

Now there was a familiar face who didn't seem keen on torturing him. It had been a while since Kakashi saw Sakura, and she appeared as determined and lively as ever. Or maybe she was just drunk. Her hair definitely grew longer during his time away. It was… nice.

"It's not my damn fault Sasuke is a cheating bastard and I inherited _your_ temper and _your _strength!"

Kakashi gave his former subordinate a startled look.

"You put fourteen people in the hospital, destroyed government property, and decomissioned two valuable assets!"

Rolling her eyes, Sakura made herself comfortable in the chair next to Kakashi's standing form.

"So I could use a little work on my temper, but it's not like you're one to talk," she whined before adding, "Oh, hey Kakashi."

"Yo," he responded with a wave.

"Brat, you may have surpassed me in most respects but I am still your Hokage and I demand respect!"

"Tsunade-sama give me a break—"

"And are you drunk? Again!"

Abruptly dropping the bottle in her hand, "Of course not!"

"Look, I understand that Uchiha broke your little heart, but move on Sakura!"

"I am _not_ drinking myself to an early grave because of that fucking—"

"I see you're quite busy Hokage-sama, I think I'll just return later," Kakashi hastily interuppted the conversation.

Turning her attention to the uncomfortable man, "Not so fast Hatake! If you even attempt to flee I'll give you a new genin team."

Becoming distracted from defending her drinking habits, Sakura's curiousity got the better of her.

"What did he do now shishou?"

"Oh what didn't he do for starters."

"Hokage-sama, it's against protocal to reveal sensitive material to those who lack clearance."

He clearly should not have said such a thing after both women in the room began a thunderous chorus of attacks on his manhood, abilities as a shinobi, and appearnce.

"Oh please Kakashi, we pretty much have the same level of clearance by now," Sakura scoffed, "So what did he do? Accidentally destroy your prized collection of sake?"

"Sakura, you do understand I wouldn't be alive if I had done such a thing."

"Right he is. Anyway, all he did was dismember two Cloud chunin…" Tsunade started.

"You did WHAT Kakashi?"

Seeing her incredulous look of complete disbelief at his apparent stupidity, Kakashi decided it was only fair to defend himself in front of his former subordinate.

"Mah Sakura, it's not like anyone will find out. I disintegrated the corpses and made sure there weren't any witnesses and then made a very impressive escape."

Just as she was about to retort, Sakura suddenly began to scrutinize her former sensei's appearance. He still towered over her despite slouching as he always did. His lean yet powerful form, trainwreck hair, and annoying eye crinkle looked back at her. It amazed her that after all these years he remained the same in physical appearance, and apparently stupidity.

"You two are _definitely _trying to kill me," Tsunade moaned in despair, "I've had it with you idiots. Get the hell out of my office and report back to me first thing in the morning."

"But shishou—"

"But Tsunade-sama—"

"But _nothing!_ I am tired and way too sober. And Hatake, if you are even a minute late, _I will assign you two genin teams."_

With her final word, Tsunade threw her prized pupil and assassain out of her office.


	2. So It Begins

**Queen of Disaster**

* * *

There was a brief silence between the two individuals standing outside in the cool spring evening.

A deep red flush adorned Sakura's cheeks as she attempted to steady herself. Although her tolerance was exceptionally high for her gender and stature, she had trouble composing herself at the moment. Not wanting to further embarrass herself, she gave a determined mental pep talk and a very visible nod in agreement. Kakashi gave a small sigh as he turned to the inebriated female at his side. She was clearly unaware that her antics were not in the privacy of her own mind but instead public. He may have thought her stupor was endearing, however he was quite tired, still soiled with blood and bits of human flesh, and he did not want to entertain a woman who could easily break his ribs with a misguided poke of her finger.

"Sakura."

Still engaged in an internal monologue, thoughts strayed toward her deepest insecurities that threatened to surface. She thought about the woman sprawled on her kitchen floor ensnared in the throes of passion. Light, silky brunette hair created an ironic halo for _the little slut._ Her naked, voluptuous form defiled the new, aquamarine ceramic tiles Sakura recently installed. Throaty moans still rang in her head. In response, she gave a very audible growl of anger.

Taking a step back as a precaution, "Oi, Sakura?"

Snapping back to reality, "Yeah Kakashi?"

"Let me walk you home," he said as he started walking before her, "Before you end up killing someone."

With a slight grin, Sakura nodded and chased after him before settling into a comfortable pace beside him. She noticed he had whipped out a copy of Icha Icha and was reading it in the moonlight.

After a few minutes, her mouth got past her censor, "Ka-ka-shi, do you think I'm pretty?"

Whipping his head toward her face, Kakashi found himself in an unfortunate predicament. The most he would permit himself to acknowledge was that Sakura was indeed physically attractive. However his thoughts never dwelled past that statement. Now, ignoring her question would most certainly elicit a belligerent response. Answering the question could result in a variety of outcomes such as being labeled a pervert, being punched in the face, or opening up a very dangerous discussion. Doing what he did best, he evaded.

"Why do you ask? Does it have to do something with Sasuke?"

He was startled as she suddenly took hold of his left arm that held his beloved book and burrowed her face in it. Kakashi heard a muffled scream of agony and then a very lengthy whine.

"You know you whine a lot when you're drunk."

Snapping her head up, yet not easing her hold, "You would too if you had to deal with the shit I had to deal with in the past six months!"

Giving her an amused look, "Go on."

"Look, I understand he may have felt pressured into being in a relationship with me –like it was expected from him by everyone and especially Naruto. But goddamnit he couldn't even have an ounce of respect for me to tell me differently? I would have understood. Yeah I would have cried my eyes out but at least I would have known he _respected_ me. But no, he fucks around behind my back and everyone turns a blind eye to his bullshit because _'at least I got what I wanted'. _What the fuck!"

"You know you also curse a lot when you're drunk."

She glared at him.

"So… Did Naruto know about Sasuke's… transgressions?" He grimaced as her hold tightened.

"Bless that oblivious idiot. He is the only one remotely on my side. Everyone else pretty much thinks I _deserve _it for getting into a relationship with _him._"

Sighing, "I leave you three alone for seven months and this is what happens."

Easily distracted, "Oh yeah, how did your mission go. Besides the obvious fuck up?"

"Boring. Then a lot of carnage. Now a lot of paperwork and potential castration," he said idly.

Scoffing, "It's not like you do your paperwork anyway."

There again was that misconception.

"I'll have you know _my dear Sakura-chan_ that I do all of my paperwork. I don't understand why no one believes me."

"You're a lazy bastard. That's why."

Visibly dejected, "I remember when you used to respect me."

Leaning her head on his shoulder casually, "That's before I knew the legend did not match reality."

With his right hand, he aggressively ruffled her hair, "You're cute when you try to talk tough."

He was violently shoved to the side of the road a few feet before the pink-haired woman hollered, "Don't patronize me asshole! Ugh, no one takes me seriously!"

Sighing yet again, "Sakura, of course I take you seriously."

Her gaze softening, "Really?"

"Yeah, you can kill me with a flick of your wrist. Who wouldn't take that seriously?"

"ARGH YOU RUINED IT. THAT GLIMMER OF HOPE I HAD FOR YOU," she threw her hands up to her head in exasperation.

Laughing lightly at her dramatic exclamation, "Yare, yare, if you are so eager to prove yourself how about we spar tomorrow –if Tsunade doesn't kill us first."

Throwing him a skeptical glance, "You've _never _sparred with me solo before."

With a shrug, "You sucked before."

Sakura chose to ignore that honest jab.

As they slowly approached her apartment complex, Sakura stopped briefly before turning toward Kakashi. Although slightly sobered up, the depressant coursing through her system was making her very drowsy. She was in the mood to strip naked and snuggle with her comforter stuffed with goose feathers that she imported from the Hidden Village of Grass. Her spacious bedroom was her sanctuary. The majority of her apartment was comprised of it. The rest of her home was tiny, however she never spent much time in it anyway. She once had a passion for cooking and even had her kitchen remodeled as a treat to herself. But after she destroyed the hell out of it, she only ate take out.

Speaking of which, her drunk cravings could be satisfied by some of the take out she left out on the coffee table.

"Thanks for walking me back," she said as she uncharacteristically patted him on the shoulder.

Looking at her hand with curiosity, "Anything for my once prized subordinate."

Snorting in an unattractive manner, "I'm going to destroy you tomorrow."

Ruffling her hair once more, Kakashi got the last say, "You're 100 years too early to be talking shit."

Her fist only managed to hit a puff of smoke as he vanished.

* * *

It was very early in the morning as Sakura dragged herself through the streets of Konoha nursing a hangover.

There were a few shopkeepers opening shop who pleasantly greeted her as she passed. Forcing herself to smile, she obliged them with a wave and a cheerful salutation. Her own voice made her cringe as her head pounded in protest. She personally enjoyed the company of civilians. Konoha was comprised of gentle, genuine people. They always made time to strike up conversations with her and often gave her discounts. It probably helped that she healed at least half of the civilian population. As she passed one of her favorite dango restaurants, Sakura beseeched whatever deity above that the Yamanaka Flower Shop was not open this early in the morning.

"Hey billboard brow!"

Sakura grimaced at the banshee screech. _Fuck the gods. _She continued to walk and was determined not to acknowledge her shitty best friend.

"Ugh when are you going to stop being such a bitch?"

With her temper already at its limit, "Pig, I am still suspended. I don't want to get thrown in Blood Prison for killing you so leave the me hell alone."

She felt someone yank her wrist and swivel her body toward them. Bloodshot green eyes met blue.

"Tut, tut, out drinking again?"

"Yes."

"Being an alcoholic is _so_ unattractive. And _what_ are you wearing?"

Sakura looked down. She appeared as if she had just rolled out of bed. Which was what happened, but that is beside the point. Ever since she was suspended from active duty, she forwent her red inspired attire. It attracted too much attention. Red immediately associated her with the war, her role in it, her place on the legendary Team 7, and everything that she no longer was. When she wasn't wearing civilian clothes, she trained in black, an inconspicuous shirt and simple leggings. Doing laundry ended up being easier. Plus it's not like she had men lining up at her door -to hell with looking cute.

"I'm sparring today. Forgive me if I'm not dressed like I'm going on a date."

"Really? With who?"

"What's it to you Ino?" she bit back.

Rolling her eyes, "I've barely seen you in six months. I want to catch up. Where the hell have you been?"

Freeing her wrist from her friend's grip, "Avoiding shitty best friends and cheating boyfriends."

"Oh don't be so dramatic. You _knew_ what you were getting into."

"And you _knew_ all this time about him cheating and didn't bother giving me a heads up. Fuck off."

Ino huffed as she crossed her arms, "Fine! You know where to find me when you decide to grow the fuck up."

"Yamanaka-chan! Stop being mean to Sakura-chan!" the old woman who owned the neighboring dango restaurant reprimanded.

Turning her attention to the woman, "Mind your own business you old bat!"

"So rude!" the offended woman grumbled. "Come back later Sakura-chan," she chimed, "I have a new dango recipe for you to try out!"

Sakura smiled sweetly at the old woman before wordlessly stomping away.

She would most certainly take up on that offer. Her day was already to an abysmal start. As Sakura arrived at the entrance of headquarters, she paused. Construction appeared to be on the verge of completion. Considering the extent of damage she caused, whomever Tsunade contracted did a remarkable job. Yawning loudly, she stretched her lithe form. As her fingers attempted to run through her vibrant hair, they repeatedly hit snags. Frowning, she bent down and flipped her hair over her head as she tried to untangle it. Sakura wanted to look at least somewhat presentable in front of her Hokage.

"Yo," a voice greeted from nowhere.

Sakura rushed up to see Kakashi upside down above her. He jumped effortlessly down in front of her.

"New grooming technique? Doesn't seem effective."

Scowling at him, "You're early."

"And you're looking a bit rough this morning."

"_Yeah I get it._"

He gave her that infuriating eye crinkle.

"You're not supposed to be here for another four hours," she stated skeptically.

"Ah. I vowed never to take another genin team again after you guys."

"Aww, love us that much Kakashi?" she asked in a teasing tone.

"No," he shuddered, "All three of you were –_are_– a nightmare."

Sakura lightly punched his arm. Sighing as she started for the door, "We should hurry. Tsunade-sama doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"No need."

His tone was oddly cheerful.

"What do you mean…" her voice slightly panicked.

"She's hung over. There was a note on her door. And I quote, '_If I see or hear anything about you two in the next six hours I'll kill you both myself.'"_

"Are you kidding me," Sakura exclaimed, "Does she know how hung over _I _am?"

"This is going to be a very quick spar," Kakashi commented.

"_Shut up… _Fine, at least let me get hydrated enough before we start."

"Training ground three. Ten minutes."

And with that he vanished.

* * *

It was warm and lovely, the quintessential perfect day. A gentle breeze carried its way through the network of branches and foliage in the forest. The sunlight above the canopy shined strongly and created chaotic patterns on the forest floor. The cleared area of training ground three was unkempt and littered with craters, scorch marks, and debris. However the critters that scurried and chatted throughout the area did not seem to mind. They also remained undisturbed by the arrival of two seemingly harmless humans.

They were sorely mistaken.

Sakura walked toward the middle of the field chugging her third bottle of water. Her eyes wandered to the slouched form of Kakashi who was giggling disturbingly to himself. Rolling her yes, she continued to gulp down the sweet nectar of life. As she finished her drink, she noticed her partner was enraptured with his reading material. With a sly grin, she tossed her bottle at his head in order to summon his attention. As the plastic container thumped on his head seemingly without his notice, Sakura groaned in frustration. She was training with an idiot. Suddenly, she heard a book snap close.

"Rules."

With a raised brow, "We can't go all out?"

"You _know _we can't go all out. And I don't want to go all out. I'm too old and delicate for you to be pummeling me."

Scoffing, "Don't be ridiculous. If anything you're more powerful than when you first took on Team 7."

"Now flattery won't stop me from kicking your ass," he jauntily said with an eye crinkle.

Rolling her eyes, "You mentioned rules?"

"Scale back your strength to thirty percent and I won't use my Sharingan."

Pouting, "But that's no fun."

Giving her a pointed look, "This is a _spar._ And I hate hospitals. And pouting isn't attractive."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"_Fine._ How about we just stick strictly to taijutsu today?" she said with an odd, secretive smile on her face.

"Eh, sure," Kakashi shrugged, unaware of what he was getting into.

He failed to realize that he had not seen Sakura fight in more than a year; therefore he had an outdated grasp on her capabilities. He also failed to realize the motive behind her suggestion to only use taijutsu. Unknown to him, Sakura had become a bit of a specialist in the field. Due to her comparatively lower chakra reserves it was impractical to waste them on ninjutsu or creating genjutsu, although she was still phenomenal in dispelling them. In battle, her primary role was of support and healing. However, the most obvious tactic when ambushing a team was to kill the medic as it decreased a team's survival rate by 63%. That's where her insane strength and taijutsu prowess came in.

Taking her lightly, Kakashi secured his favorite novel and eased into a casual position. Sakura tied up her hair in a high ponytail with the ends still grazing well below her shoulders. She no longer used her customary gloves in combat. She enjoyed the feeling of that sickening crunch when she landed a punch.

"All right…" he said lazily, "start."

Sakura vanished.

Then she was on top of Kakashi with an overwhelming flurry of blows and kicks to his face. She ruthlessly went at him. A particularly mean right hook whizzed by Kakashi's head. The immense force and speed behind the punch could be felt. As he dodged and weaved from her reach, he found himself having to deflect an increasing amount of hits. She was steadily gaining momentum in this battle. Barely being able to keep up and completely baffled at her absurd agility, he jumped away from her and perched on a tree branch. He had underestimated her.

Giving her an odd look, "Interesting," he called out.

Sakura looked above and saw him crouching down with a weary expression on his face.

"You thought I would just sit around and do nothing during my suspension?" she chided, "I was bored to tears with my free time."

"I take it you have been training with Lee?"

"Yeah. But he always goes easy on me so I bullshitted Gai-sensei with nonsense about my burning springtime youth to train me."

"Are you insane? And what— _Gai-sensei?"_

"Duh. He's mentoring me. What, jealous? You haven't been my teacher in _years," _she said in a teasing tone.

He shot her a not amused look, "All right, starting now I'll be serious with you."

Crouching down into a defensive position, Sakura goaded with a smirk, "_Bring it."_

* * *

They had been sparring for over two hours. Occasionally one would cause the other to momentarily retreat to compose themselves and strategize. At times Kakashi struggled to keep up. He was familiar with certain styles she used as he had sparred numerous times with Gai. That was not the issue. However, when she improvised into a style all her own, he found himself repeatedly on his toes –and mesmerized. It was raw, overwhelmingly powerful, yet lithe and ridiculously swift. Her speed was simply startling.

That didn't mean he didn't keep her on her toes as well.

Sakura barely managed to evade an unexpected fireball careering toward her. As her shirt caught fire, she quickly began to pat out the small flames while she yelled over her shoulder, "You goddamn liar! You agreed to strictly taijutsu!"

Looking at the absolute devastation around him, he inwardly snorted. The first blow he managed to dodge cleared a significant portion of the edge of the forest. "And you agreed to keep it at thirty percent Sakura!" his voice echoed back.

"I am damnit! Aww my shirt…"

Kakashi's eye widened. _Well shit._

"And I'm still mediocre with ninjutsu. Not everyone can copy a thousand jutsus Kakashi!"

He instantly decided to change his approach. As she continued her onslaught of attacks, he remained on the defensive. Kakashi knew he had fractured ribs and his left femur could be potentially cracked. It was not as if Sakura faired better. He managed to almost shatter her collarbone and ended up giving her an incriminating looking black eye. He hoped that she ended up healing that before they returned to town. Panting heavily, he was momentarily distracted as he saw her shirt ride up. A drop of sweat slid down to her navel and her creamy skin glistened in the light.

Sakura landed a powerful high kick to where he was just seconds before. Kakashi shook his head. She was definitely going to kill him if he didn't get his shit together. Naturally, he escaped upward and from above he saw the radius of devastation around her. In an instant she was on him and Kakashi realized he was in serious jeopardy. With a smug smirk, Sakura realized she had him. She wouldn't show mercy, especially to an underestimating smartass like him.

As they met mid-air, he did something she was completely unprepared for. Kakashi quickly used her own body as a pivoting tool mid-air to launch himself away from her. During his execution, she let out a loud snarl as she desperately chased after his form. Her sole index finger managed to reach the collar of his vest. That was all she needed as she channeled her strength into pulling him back toward her. She secured a lethal hold on him and threw his body over her shoulders toward the ground below with brutal speed. There was a lengthy ripping sound as his vest was almost torn from his body due to the sheer force.

As he was hurtling toward the ground, Kakashi twisted his body around to place a distracting kick to her ribs. Sakura deflected it with her forearm when she felt a hard pull of her hair. Dragging her down with him, he maneuvered her body quickly under his and slammed her into the ground. The force of the blow knocked the wind out of her body. Wheezing, she struggled under the weight of him on her. Kakashi panted heavily on top of her, taking advantage of her disorientation to settle himself down. This spar had unexpectedly turned into a competitive, dangerous game of who would yield first. Sakura gasped for air as she felt him flicker off her and go into hiding.

Shakily standing herself up, she screamed, "Are you fucking kidding me? Did you SERIOUSLY just pull me by my hair?"

A teasing voice echoed around her, "It's called being resourceful _Sakura-chan_! Your hair is getting too long anyway."

Growling, she proceeded to flick Kakashi off in the general direction of where she thought he was hiding.

Their exchanges became increasingly closer, more brutal, and intimate. Hands roamed everywhere trying to grab hold to one another long enough to land a destructive blow. Although Kakashi was at a distinct disadvantage when it came to brute strength, he was incredibly slippery and able to escape Sakura's almost inescapable holds. At this point, they were aggressively pinning each other down and then violently throwing the other off. Trees in the surrounding areas were splintered or shattered. Relatively small craters littered the area surrounding them. And all that could be heard was heavy breathing, groans, and punches being exchanged.

Sakura found herself straddling his upper torso with one of her hands at his neck and her other pinning his right hand. Her right leg had flexibly pinned his left hand above his head. _She finally had him_.

"Yield!" she demanded.

Panting heavily, Kakashi drew in a deep breath, "I…"

He expertly broke her hold and viciously tackled her into the ground, "_don't think so_."

She was done. However she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of verbalizing her exhaustion. Groaning in protest and fatigued, she allowed Kakashi to continue pinning her. It was kind of pleasant. He smelled remarkably nice for a man drenched in sweat and physically abused. There was even a sensual undertone to it. Plus the weight of his body was reassuring and stimulated inner desires her body craved. She mentally berated herself; she was acting like a thirsty hussy around him.

Kakashi knew he had her. However her exposed skin, half-lidded eyes, and flighty breaths made him feel as if she had him instead. He hadn't been this aroused –no, not _that _way— from a fight in a while. Her style of fighting was a breath of fresh air and exhilarated him. It was fun and competitive and attractive. Wait, no, not attractive. He was acting like an infatuated schoolboy, enamored with a new toy. Their eyes promptly met. Both their expressions were unreadable. Their faces were in close proximity and they could feel each other's deep breaths. It was a perfect, passionate moment between two people.

Yet this seemingly perfect, passionate moment was interrupted by the intense projection of vomit that exuded from Sakura's mouth.


End file.
